Size does matter

Amsterdam, The Netherlands
The length of his penis is key to a homosexual man's self esteem and how he sees his body in general, according to a recent Dutch study undertaken at Utrecht University.

The majority of gay men regard a large sexual organ as ideal, and having one is linked to self-esteem, Liesbeth Woertman, a senior lecturer in clinical psychology, has found.

Woertman, a psychologist and sexologist, surveyed 251 gay men with an average age of 29 together with a colleague specialising in social and organisational psychology.

"Our study reveals that how gay men see their penis has considerable influence on how they value themselves in general," Woertman said.
"It is not known whether if there is a similar link in heterosexual men, but there are various reasons for assuming that the self-image of heterosexual men is linked to how they evaluate the most characteristically masculine part of their body," she added.

The men surveyed said their penises were the most attractive parts of their body, followed by their stomachs and their skin.

Woertman has previously confirmed that gay men spend more time, money and effort on their appearance than straight men.

She offers as one explanation that gay men are sex objects for men.

The psychologist believes that, despite the derogatory remarks, gay and straight men differ little from each other, and that their attitudes are converging regarding appearance.

This is because women are increasingly seeing men as sex objects, she believes.

"Appearance has thus become more important for the straight man," she said, calling for more research into how heterosexual men see their bodies.

She suspects that contemporary men are less satisfied with their appearance than earlier generations. - Sapa-DPA

THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS

I can feel positive energy flow through me with every positive thought I choose.

Today I know I have the right to be alive, happy and full of joy.
Today, I trust that I am where I am suppose to be and am moving in the right direction.
Today I dare to openly express my needs and find healthy ways to get them met. I like feeling good today. I like myself today.
I no longer need to struggle to find my answers alone.
I welcome and am open to positive and healthy support wherever I find it.
I forgive all others and myself today.
I am good enough just the way I am.
I am at choice today. I can watch my negative thoughts go by and replace them with positive thoughts of love and compassion. I am not a victim of people, places and things.
Negative thoughts are no longer something I choose to live with.
I am turning around all my negative thinking so that my mind is positive.
I am open to positive changes in my life today.
Today I am hanging in no matter what. Even when my conscious mind wants to give up.
I will reach for that healthy, loving part deep within me and with the help of prayer and meditation and the good people in my life, I will find a rainbow.
Today I am breaking out of old patterns and rewriting old tapes.
I am capable of letting go of all the negativity that is standing in the way of my feeling good about myself.

Deep-Throating

When it comes to fellatio, few other phrases have the appeal of "deep throat." It's thought of as the ultimate in oral sex. But is it?
Well, maybe. Unless a sucker's unusually adept, a shallower approach may actually make for more fun for the suckee, since deep-throating makes it harder to give the shaft spine-tingling licks and sucks. Things can look different from the bottom's perspective, though. "It's a thrill to take all of a guy all the way down my throat," says one oral sex fan. "In fact, if I'm having problems deep-throating extra-large equipment, it makes me feel inadequate."

Like so much else in life, being able to take a schlong all the way down to the tonsils is a matter of both nature and nurture. Some guys have fussier gag reflexes than others -- true -- and some are born with smaller mouths. But in any case there are ways to improve technique.

It's pretty obvious that position matters. Things go smoothest when the curve of the throat accommodates the curve of the penis. Probably the best, but oddest, position is lying down on your back with your head hanging over the side of the bed. It gets your throat in a nicely straight line, but also gets the blood rushing to your head and makes everything look, well, upside down. A less acrobatic possibility is to get your guy to lie back, straddle him facing his feet, and then bend over and scarf up his meat. Come to think of it, the good old 69 is a pleasant variation on this theme; no wonder it's so timelessly popular. Whatever your contortions, keep in mind you want the thing to slide down your throat, not ram your tonsils.

And what about the dreaded gag reflex? I asked one of the best fellators I know, figuring he'd long ago mastered his reactions, and was surprised to hear his answer. "Of course I sometimes start to gag," he said, "and when I do I just back off for a bit. There's also the problem of running out of air. Thanks to coaching ... I've learned how to breathe around the penis, if that makes any sense."

Breathing slowly and evenly can also help forestall gagging. In fact, a relaxed approach works best. With practice, it's possible to keep those throat muscles relaxed. "Desire helps, too," my friend added. "It's funny how the right mental attitude just opens up my throat."

(Oh, a quick word from Mom here: though oral sex is a pretty inefficient way to transmit HIV, deep-throating unsheathed cocks may add to the risk, as heavy-duty sucking can injure the lining of the throat. And there are other STDs to consider, including -- rather surprisingly -- gonorrhea.)

Since practice makes perfect, a little homework never hurts. Novice deep-throaters can practice on dildos, and even slowly sliding a couple of fingers way back there can train the aspiring suckmeister to accommodate oral visitors without gagging. Then, bring on those boys! But hey, if you do gag while chugging down the old flesh sausage, not to worry. We're only human, right? Next time, you might want to find someone with a smaller tool. Or you might want to give up deep-throating. Or you might want to get down to practicing, one way or another, till you can proudly wear one of those T-shirts that read, "Let go of my ears -- I know what I'm doing."--by Simon Sheppard

Condom

Something about

The condom conundrum: We know we need to wear them, but finding the right brand or fit can be tricky and can leave one feeling less than enthusiastic about safer sex. But rather than avoiding them altogether, some simple basics as to what to look for can help. Here's a wrap-up on how to pick a condom that's best suited for your penis and how to reduce technical difficulties so you can get your game on.Man enough?
Studies have demonstrated that most condoms meet or pass minimum industry standards for durability. However, if you have concerns about durability, Durex brand condoms tend to be the "iron man" of condoms. The Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex brand has performed best in strength tests. (The next question is where do you sign up for these tests?) Price, thickness and country of manufacture make no difference in terms of durability. No matter what your brand, condoms are less likely to break if handled with care:
Use only water- or silicone-based lube.
Don't use past expiration date.
Avoid using scissors, knives or teeth to open the packet.
Open the packet before you start playing with lube.
Store in a cool, dry place.
During sex, make it a habit to check that the condom is still on and not broken. (This also gives the bottom -- whether you or him -- a breather!)

The long and short of it: Does size matter?
Unlike on many an online profile, a person should be honest when it comes to size. A condom that fits is less apt to break, less likely to interfere with erectile functioning, easier to put on and may enhance sensitivity. A few suggestions:

If regular condoms seem too loose or come off too easily, try a smaller size, such as Lifestyles Snugger Fit.
For the big guns (and you know you have one if a regular condom doesn't go on easily, pinches, keeps breaking, or is just plain uncomfortable), try Kimono MAXX, Trojan Magnum or Durex XXL. Condoms are supposed to be lifesavers, not torture devices that squeeze the life out of your erection. Larger condoms tend to be larger in width but not necessarily length. The actual difference between XL and XXL is pretty insignificant, so why not go for the XXL?
Try a few brands and sizes until you find one that works, and then buy in bulk!

Latex sucks (its taste does, anyway)
Here are tips for you extra-good kids who use condoms during oral sex:

If you don't like a penis that tastes like a tire at a monster truck rally, flavored condoms are available.Most of the flavoring is in the lube -- so after a few sucks, it's gone.
Try Kiss of Mint condoms, which are a dry condom with a mint-flavored powder. It can burn if you have chapped lips, but it actually does sustain its flavor and transfers to your mouth, so you give head and clean your breath at the same time! Chocolate is nice, but it's on a brown condom, which brings visual dissonance for many. Most flavors are reasonable imitations of what they claim to be. .

A flavored condom unrolled over the four fingers of a hand (not including the thumb) can allow for mouth exploration and flavor feeding.
Lips and mouth can react to latex, so make sure you don't have latex sensitivity before enjoying your snack.
Keep in mind that many gay guys are turned off by Skittle-colored condoms (aren't we fruity enough?)
For fun, try rolling the condom on your partner using your mouth. But be careful not to swallow it!

Hammer time
Let's face it: Part of the pleasure of anal sex is feeling what's going on. Decreased sensation is one of the most common excuses guys use for skipping condoms. Thinner condoms are available, and when used in combination with a few choice lubes (and tricks), they can increase sensation and sensitivity.

Try placing a little lube on your penis or on the inside of the condom before rolling one on.
Recommended lubricants are Liquid Silk (not sticky) and Wet Platinum (silicone based, still safe with latex, but doesn't dry easily and you don't need that much).
For a great thinner condom with excellent sensitivity, try Avanti condoms (by Durex). They're a bit pricey, but they're sleek, durable, and thin enough to allow heat to transfer; they're second-best to bare skin. This condom allows you to feel unique features of the anal walls or penis.
Ribbed and studded condoms can increase sensation for some guys; others don't really feel the difference. However, textured condoms aren't just for bottoms. Top guys, try turning the condom inside out so that the ribs or studs are against the shaft of the penis.
If allergic to latex, use polyurethane condoms.

Condoms for bottoms?
You don't really hear guys talking about these in the locker room yet, but female condoms, such as FC Female Condoms (aka Reality condoms), can be used for anal sex as well. Make sure you remove the inner ring before placing that end in your ass, and that the other end of the condom is hanging out. This can be a good choice for top guys who prefer not to wear condoms or have erectile challenges. It's surprising that these condoms haven't taken off among gay guys (different branding might help), but they're great for conducting heat and increasing sensitivity.
Final tip-off!
Did you know that since many condoms are wrapped in foil, they can actually set off security screening devices?

Dr. Omar Minwalla is a licensed clinical psychologist whose private practice specializes in adolescent sexual-gender identity development, transgender dynamics, fetishes and BDSM. He conducts sexual health seminars for men who have sex with men.

Techniques for Gay Hand Job

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Improving Sex : Lasting Longer

One common goal amongst virtually all guys is to last longer during sexual intercourse. Unfortunately, most men can’t last as long as they would like and feel inadequate because of it. The first thing that needs to be understood is that the state of mind a person is in has a huge effect on their sexual performance. Getting all uptight and worried is going to do you no good; neither is having a partner that gets really angry about it. Both parties need to work together to improve the situation, and the most important thing is to stay positive.

The first principle behind the techniques and suggestions listed below is the man’s ability to know his own body. By understanding how his body works and how his excitement rises, he should be able to learn how to pace himself better. It is key to know when to slow down to allow your excitement to drop enough so that you can “re-group” and then pick up the pace again. The second principle has to do with decreasing the sensitivity of the penis. By decreasing the sensitivity, it will take more stimulation to achieve the excitement necessary for climax. The following techniques and suggestions should help boost his sexual stamina, but they are not miracle cures, it will take patience and the right attitude to make things better.

Start & Stop TechniqueThe primary principle of this technique is to stimulate the penis until near ejaculation, and then stop stimulating to allow the level of excitement to drop. This exercise can be performed alone, or with a partner, and should be repeated 3 to 5 times per session. After 2-6 weeks of using this technique you should notice an improvement in your sexual stamina and will eventually not even have to use it to outlast your partner.

Squeeze Technique
Right before you feel you are about to ejaculate, approximately three or four strokes away, stop stimulating and squeeze the base of your penis by wrapping your thumb and index finger around it. Apply firm pressure, focusing on the urethra, the tube running along the underside of the penis. This lessens the tension and holds back the ejaculatory response. Be sure to apply pressure a few strokes before ejaculating … if you wait too long, it may be too late! You should be able to apply this technique anywhere along the shaft of the penis, as long as it squeezes the urethra.

Regular Masturbation
A great method for boosting sexual stamina and releasing sexual tension is regular masturbation. By masturbating more often, you can train yourself to become more used to the stimulation. As you get more and more used to it, it should start taking you progressively longer to climax.

Wearing CondomsMany couples have claimed that wearing condoms significantly reduces the stimulation of intercourse for both partners. If you are not already using condoms to protect against STD's , try wearing them to increase your stamina. If necessary, consider wearing a thicker condom, it should make a large difference in the amount of stimulation that you feel.

Sex ToysFollowing the same line of logic as in “Regular Masturbation” above, you can use sex toys to help you become more “immune” to the pleasure. Sex simulators are recommended over regular vibrators, but both should work. The Robo Suck 2 is a great toy that can bring the best of men to their knees; it sucks, strokes, and vibrates all at once.

Prostate Pleasure

When someone talks about the prostate, you likely don’t think of prostate pleasure. However, the male prostate or male g spot can give you intense sexual pleasure and satisfaction.
For many men – gay or straight – it takes time to adjust to the thought of penetration, or any stimulation via the anus. It may be new for you to be open to being pleasured in this way, and to experience penetration as a good thing. Exploring your g spot can be a powerful experience for both the giver and the receiver.
We all know sex is an emotional and psychological experience as well as physical one. Since as men, we usually demand of ourselves to be in control, stepping into the role of receiver is a powerful psychological experience, for the receiver as well as the giver.

Prostate pleasure can open up to you areas never before stimulated or explored, and can take you past limits of what you though possible. The is can be the case not only in terms of physical pleasure, but in terms of psychological as well – openness, balance and connectedness to your partner. Prostate pleasure can offer you a path of self discovery, as well as discovery with your partner.
If you want to explore prostate pleasure on your own, we suggest trying the prostate masturbation exercise. Of course, you may want to include a partner in this exploration, and if this is the case, try the prostate massage exercise.

Set aside about 45 minutes for this exercise. You don’t need much – some lube, a sex toy (we recommend the aneros or your favorite butt plug), a towel or two and a comfortable spot.
1. A nice hot shower is a great way to wash off the day and get fully relaxed.

2. Set out your materials within arms reach in your comfortable spot.

3. Get comfortable, lying on your back, with your knees slightly bent. If you are using your finger rather than a sex toy, it can be a little harder to reach your prostate, so experimenting with the position of your body as you go along will be helpful.

4. Using lube as you wish, arouse yourself slightly – by touching your body and/or penis, balls and perineum, but just to the point of feeling turned on, not so much that you are ready to orgasm. 5. If you haven’t already, apply some lube to your finger or and touch and explore the opening to your anus. You might even try this while touching your cock at the same time. The key here is to stay relaxed.

6. If you are using your finger – ok – but if you are planning on using a sex toy, put some lube on the toy itself. Begin to gently press into your anus, slowly. You might want to keep touching your penis or your body to stay relaxed and aroused.

7. The more relaxed and aroused you are, the more your anus will relax and the more it will actually begin to invite your finger or the sex toy in.

8. Play with pressure, motion – side to side, back and forth, circular, in and out – as well as depth. Notice what you like and what feels best to you.

9. Begin to focus on the front wall of your anus – the front wall is toward the direction of your penis or toward the front of your body. About 1 or 2 inches inside your rectum you may begin to feel your prostate. It is a walnut-sized, roundish gland that sits below your bladder and can be located by touching the front wall of your anus, and likely feels sensitive and amazing to your touch.

10. Experiment with touching and stimulate your prostate alone, without touching anywhere else on your body. Try “milking” the prostate or a “come here” motion with your finger or the sex toy. You may notice extreme pleasure from just this alone.

11. Also experiment with stimulating your prostate while touching your penis, body, perineum and balls at the same time. This may enhance your overall pleasure and sensation, and it may accelerate your arousal level and make you want to come immediately.

12. Try squeezing your PC muscles around your finger or sex toy – often this can be extremely pleasurable as well. Using your PC muscles like this can help you to have orgasm without ejaculation, to stop your ejaculation as well as to have multiple orgasms. You can identify your PC muscles as the ones you would use to stop the flow of your urine.
13. Continue to explore and notice what feels best to you, getting comfortable with anal penetration in general as well as prostate masturbation. Resist the temptation to bring yourself immediately to orgasm, but keeping backing off and continue the cycle of arousal.

14. The point of this prostate masturbation exercise is not to have an orgasm – but if it happens at some point, no worries – nice side benefit!

15. When you are finished, clean up using the towels and congratulate yourself for going where no man has likely gone before!

Male Erogenous Zones

His Ears
Bundles of nerve endings are in and around the ears, making them ultra sensitive to your touch. Use the pads of your index finger and thumb to massage the outer ears with slow, firm movements. Gently squeeze the earlobes. Explore the area behind the ear with your lips and tongue, and then blow lightly. Don't be shy about making noise while you're lingering there -- the sound of your breath and moans is a huge turn-on for most men.

His Lips
It is very unlikely that a man will not enjoy kissing his partner. The more you kiss the better. Lips are sensitive and for men it is easy to get him aroused just from kissing. Kissing lets him know that there is (probably) more "good stuff" ahead and that starts his mind fantasizing.

His Neck
The neck is always a great place to turn on your partner. There are several things to keep in mind here, most importantly controlling yourself. Hickies may have been the big thing when you were younger, but most men hate them, especially when they have to wear turtlenecks for a week! (If you must suck for blood, keep the hickies to places that are usually covered by clothes). Try to have a moist mouth, but don't slobber! Cover different areas of his neck with tender kisses, using the areas under/behind the ears for extra stimulation. Light nibbling and tugging usually work really well also. Start out soft and gentle; as he gets into it, slowly go harder and wilder to release his beast within.
His ScalpThe scalp can be very sensitive to stimulation, and since he's probably not expecting you to give any attention to it, surprise him. Many men like to have a gentle head massage or scratching, so if you have nails, gently run your hands through his hair in circular motions while lightly scratching his scalp.

His Chest
To many men, the chest is one of their favorite body parts. To appreciate it is to appreciate the man. Massage it and occasionally whisper how much you love how hard it is (especially if your man works out). Nipples are highly sensitive and should be sucked and nibbled on. Just remember to start out a little slower and work up to harder techniques. Watch for discomfort, some partners have a lower pain threshold then others, so again, communicate.

His Inner Thighs
Inner thighs are always a great place to turn your partner on, as they don’t get touched much during every day life. Whether it is touching, kissing, licking, or nibbling, virtually everything you do around this area will feel good.
His Glans HeadThis is the pinnacle of stimulation for a man. The glans head is the purplish, mushroom shaped mass at the top of a man's penis. This is the most sensitive part of his body and concentrating on it is the easiest way to get him off. Men with foreskin have a more sensitive glans head and sometimes need to be handled more gently.

His PerineumThe perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus. There are a lot of nerve endings there and it is quite responsive to gentle fondling. For a smoother experience, try using a little artificial lubricant or massage oil. You may want to try vigorously massaging the perineum just prior to orgasm; this gives many men a rush of pleasure.

His AnusThe Anus has a large number of nerve endings surrounding it and it is very sensitive. The proper stimulation of this area can heighten a man's pleasure. Please see the anal play section for more details(coming soon).

His Scrotum
The scrotum is the sack that holds the testicles. This is a very sensitive and very fragile part of a man's body. Applying too much pressure to the testicles will cause immense amounts of pain. This does not mean to stay away from them; it just means to be very gentle. To really get your man going, fondle his testicles gently in one hand. Even more erotic and far more appreciated is to lightly suck or lick the scrotum (try getting one or both testicles in your mouth and humming).

Masturbation Power-Orgasm

 
Powergasm=Power Orgasm

Introduction:

Think of Powergasm as a meditation practice, as well as a creative visualization exercise that if done every day (at least three or more times a day for some) can greatly expand a persons orgasmic acumen to greater heights.

"Remember, sexual energy and spiritual energy come from the same source. The creative power of sexuality ignites the fire of passion to fill your body with life. You and vitality that accompany this energy connect you with your Eternal Self. Allow your sexuality to be the passion that becomes a powerful spiritual link combining love for yourself and love for your partner with love ."
The actual Powergasm technique:

Start to masturbate as you normally do. Guys you know what I
mean here. The ladies can play with their clits, or use a vibrator.
Continue masturbating and don't focus too much on climaxing at first.
Enjoy yourself. Accelerate the experience by fantasying, moaning, and
moving around, just have fun. Liberate yourself - if you fancy your
next door neighbor or good friends, go for it, or if you want to watch
a video, do that too - it's only in fantasy! So, pleasure yourself
in the normal way.

When you begin to feel the tinge or wave of orgasm approaching
stop! This is very important and what most people find hard to do. Although it's difficult at first to stop your self from cumming, practice makes perfect, and in the long run, the ability to ward of your first orgasms will be a great payoff. Let all orgasmic sensations slowly subside and begin to masturbate again.

Keep on masturbating and when orgasm feels like it is just about to fill your body, stop again!

This time we are not going to waste that delicious and healing pre orgasmic energy but instead we are going to use it to intensify the super Powergasm we are all working towards.

So masturbate, feel orgasm approaching, stop don't come, don't ejaculate just yet, and then hold that energy and feeling and visualize it as a healing and divine white light - see it spreading from your genitals to all parts of your body. Visualize the pre orgasmic energy as a white light traveling to your heart - engulfing it with healing, love, and erotic energy. After it has conquered your heart, visualize it going to your head, then to your mind, and then lay there visualizing your whole nude body surrounded by that wonderful white light.
The trick to achieving the Powergasm technique is to start - stop - start - stop - start...your masturbation until you have built up enough energy within your genital area. It's not easy, and many of us are tempted to climax when the first orgasm approaches. If this happens, enjoy it, don't be so hard on yourself, and remember that you have not failed, but instead that you need a little more practice. One can try and squeeze the PC muscle to stop a premature climax.

A good starting point is to start, feel orgasm approaching, and stop three times then climax. After this, or a little more practice you can increase the number of times you are able to hold on to your climaxes. The more one holds on, say 5, 10, or 20 times in one masturbation session, the better and more explosive your climaxes will be.

So what happens after you have masturbated, stopped, visualized, and started up again for 5, 10, 20, or more times? Well, by this time you have had stored up enough orgasmic energy that you are ready to let go and release all that
goodness thus bringing intense pleasure to your whole body. You will probably feel the greatest orgasm ever followed by a long and loud moan of pleasure. When one finishes climaxing a surge of joy usually comes over your being, and if the Powergasm technique is done correctly you will start to smile then laugh. Why does the laughing happen? Beats us, but we figure it has something to do with the orgasm triggering the release of some chemical in the brain that makes you feel happy and ecstatic. It's like taking a drug - but in this instance, the drug is not harmful but helpful!
Overview of Powergasm technique:

Start to masturbate as usual.

When you feel like you're going to cum, stop!

Take the feeling of the remaining pre orgasmic energy, and
visualize it
as a white light traveling to your heart, brain and entire body.
Visualize the white light of orgasm as a healing modality and pleasure device.

Repeat this as many times as you can. Three, five, ten, twenty or as
many times as possible. Start, stop, start...don't forget to bring
the energy up to your heart.

When you are satisfied with the amount of times you have held your orgasms, or when you can't resist the urge...climax, let go, release all the energy!

Feel exquisite, congratulate and love yourself for being a lovely erotic being.

Repeat as often as you like.

Give freely and see how you will be rewarded. What goes around, come around!

Start the cycle!

I wish you and your loved ones many happy orgasms!

Improving Sex:Kegel Exercises

Improving Sex:Kegel Exercises

Named after their developer, Dr. Kegel, kegel (KAY-gill) exercises can be used to tone up and strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle). Both genders have this muscle and it supports the following organs in men: urethra, bladder, penis, and rectum. Since the PC muscle is involved in orgasm and ejaculation, these exercises, done on a regular basis, can help correct impotence and urinary problems. Anyone can learn, use, and do Kegel exercise, and the results are always beneficial with enough time and effort.

Always remember to try to have fun while you perform these exercises. Adjust them to your time schedule; learn what you like and, if you can, involve your partner. For the quickest and best results, you should exercise everyday, faithfully. The muscles won't increase in strength overnight, but if you stick to your routine, you should start noticing changes after about three weeks.Finding the PC Muscle:The PC muscle is the one you flex when you have to pee and are trying not to. Next time you are urinating, try to stop in mid-flow without using your fingers. Please note that Kegel exercises are normally not done while urinating.

Exercising the PC Muscle:
Where to Exercise:
Kegel exercises can be done anywhere at anytime as long as you are stationary. Since you never break a sweat or get tired from doing them, you can even do them during a business meeting. Try to find a time and place that is convenient for you, as it will be easier to stay committed if they are a part of your daily schedule.

The Benefits
For Men:
1. Stronger erection.
2. More Intense Orgasms.
3. Increased power of ejaculation.
4. Lower risk of impotence.

Exercise Techniques:
The Basic Exercise
1) Contract the PC muscle
2) Hold for a 10 count
3) Relax the PC muscle
Repeat (as many times as you see fit, try to do at least 10 sets)
Repeat several times each day, every day Variation 1
1) Contract the PC muscle over 5 count from relaxed to as tight as possible
2) Relax the PC muscle for 1 count

Variation 2
1) Contract the PC muscle over 5 count from relaxed to as tight as possible
2) Relax the PC muscle for 1 count
3) Contract the PC muscle fast and tight for 1 count
4) Relax for 1 count
5) Contract the PC muscle fast and tight for 1 count
6) Relax for 1 count
7) Contract the PC muscle fast and tight for 1 count
8) Relax for a 10 count

Variation 3
1) Tighten the PC slightly for 5 count
2) Tighten the PC slightly more for 5 count
3) Tighten the PC completely for 5 count
4) Relax the PC slightly for 5 count
5) Relax the PC slightly more for 5 count
6) Relax the PC completely for 5 count

Proper Exercising:
As with any form of exercise, you should make sure you are doing them properly and isolating the correct muscles to achieve the quickest and best results. While performing Kegel exercises, you should not be flexing your upper leg muscles, buttocks, or abdominal muscles. The only muscle you want to be contracting is your PC muscle. If you feel your anus tensing while exercising, do not worry, it may be difficult at first to tighten the PC muscle and anus separately. After some time, you should be able to contract the PC muscle by itself. If you get headaches while exercising, this may be a sign that you are tensing your chest muscles or perhaps holding your breath - make sure to breathe deeply and slowly. If you find the exercises tiring or if you get back pain or stomach pain after you exercise, then you are probably, a) trying too hard, and b) using stomach muscles. If you do feel any pains, make an appointment with your physician to look into the matter. Pains usually imply that the techniques aren’t being performed properly; a qualified doctor will be able to correct you, or at the very least find out if there is anything wrong.(for Reference only)

Analingus and Anal Fingering

Analingus and Anal Fingering

There are two very pleasurable spots in and around a man's anus. The first location is the anus itself; it is surrounded by a large number of nerve bundles and is very sensitive. The second is the prostate gland; it is located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

Getting Started

Some men are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as enjoying it may make them question their sexuality. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding in today’s society. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t force him, but try to open him up to the idea by exploring the area more often with your hands. He’ll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won’t seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him an orgasm three or more times as intense!

Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this form of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your finger(s) or sex toy has been inside his anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to have a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.

Be sure to clip your fingernails quite short before doing any type of penetration, especially anal. The lining of the rectum is thin, and can be torn by sharp objects. If you have longer fingernails, you can pack some cotton balls around your fingernails and put on a latex glove.
Fingering
Once you get lubricated, you want to start by taking it really easy. Most people who have never had any anal play will tense their sphincter muscles. If they are tensing, do not try to push through, as it will cause a lot of pain and discomfort. Instead, make little circles around his anus and wait for him to relax. Once he starts relaxing, gently try moving your finger in and out a little. Start shallow and slowly move deeper, just make sure to watch his reactions and facial expressions to see if you are going too fast. Once you get inside, you can do a variety of things, including: twisting your hand, pulling in and out, moving in large circles following the wall of the cavity, or stimulate specific spots with little circles. The most effective use of anal play is definitely right at orgasm. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit.
Analingus

Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different then licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don’t just jump right in, build up to them and allow for your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing fellatio. The area is really sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate.

Access to his anus is a little tougher than to his penis, but there are several positions that are ideal; lying on his back with a large pillow to arch his bum up, him bent over with legs spread, him standing with you kneeling, and him upside down with his legs spread.

Anal Intercourse

Anal sex is quite a different ball game than using your finger. Even if he enjoys and requests you to pleasure him there, he may be apprehensive about putting something so large as a dildo in there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication, relaxation on his part, and a slow, gentle approach. Let him tell you when he wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with his penis at the same time. For more on this please see the Anal Intercourse section.Anal Toys

*Butt Plugs
A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs bring, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex.

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so the companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long.

*Climax Beads
Beads are some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which time the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is too intense to handle. We suggest starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced.
And like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

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